


you gotta be kitten me

by corsica



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Humor, catboy rights !, i cannot justify this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:29:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29178759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corsica/pseuds/corsica
Summary: The Final Dark God. Lover of naps and hater of closed doors.
Relationships: Arjuna Alter | Berserker/Fujimaru Ritsuka
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	you gotta be kitten me

**Author's Note:**

> the person i become when i look at stage 3 arjuna alter and the person i become when i am around my cat when he's being cute are the exact same
> 
> anyway _pspspspspspspsps come on arjunya come home on the yuga kshetra banner pspspspspspsps_

_“Please.”_

Arjuna Alter stared down at his Master, deeply bent over with her palms pressed together in front of her head, looking like the picture of submission.

While she may be his Master, what she asked him to do...felt...

“...These are horns. You know that these are horns.”

“Yes,” she said, not moving from her position, “Please. _Once._ Just once. That's all I'm asking.”

He closed his eyes.

“I once held the power of all the Gods in my pantheon,” he couldn't help sounding just a little beleaguered, “And now I am being asked to do this. You're lucky I'm as fond of you as I am.”

Ritsuka only bent over further, her hands raising higher.

“I promise, I will _never_ ask you to do something like this _ever_ again.”

Arjuna Alter sighed.

...He did love her.

...But more importantly, he was contracted to her. If she was _that desperate_ to make him do this, then she could easily order him with a Command Spell. That, he thought, would probably be even more humiliating than simply doing it of his own free will.

With yet another heavy sigh, he relented.

“...Fine. I will do it.”

She froze, in disbelief, before bounding up and standing perfectly straight, both of her hands covering the bottom half in her face as she stared at him in pure anticipation, bouncing excitedly on her toes. It would be charming, cute, even, if he didn't utterly dread what he was about to do.

Both his hands clenched tightly into fists, and he held them up in the air, on either side of his face, palm down and knuckles pointed out, while his tail flicked out more to the side so she would better be able to see it.

“...N...” his eyes shut tightly, and his cheeks gained a light pink color from embarrassment, _“...Nya~”_

Ritsuka gasped, her eyes lighting up and going large, and Arjuna Alter had _never_ seen her look so happy.

Wide eyes soon became squeezed shut (were those _tears_ in the corners?), and one of her hands came down from her face to press against her chest, near where her heart was, while the other formed into a fist that she placed against her mouth. He could see her body trembling before she eventually threw her arms around him in gratitude.

_“Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you—.”_

In the midst of him kissing her on the forehead and tiredly patting her on the back as she expressed just how grateful she was, he caught something out of the corner of his eye. His Archer incarnation was staring at him far down the hall, with a furrowed brow, his expression altogether extremely confounded.

Arjuna Alter froze. He...only agreed in the first place because nobody else was around.

Archer shook his head and began to walk off, and Arjuna Alter felt...a significant sense of panic. He held a great amount of respect for his Archer form, and he desperately wanted to keep that feeling mutual. Carefully, he broke out of Ritsuka's hold, and his steps picked up rapidly as he began to hurry after him.

“Wait, this isn't—it's not— _please come back.”_

Before he continued on in his attempt to salvage whatever he could in his relationship with his Archer counterpart, he stopped, and turned to look at Ritsuka sternly.

“Master, please keep in mind that I am not a cat.”

She made the shape of a heart with her fingers towards him, and he could only sigh in response one more time before quickly rounding a corner and going out of her sight.

***

When Ritsuka passed by the cafeteria and saw Karna simply standing without moving, she hadn't thought much of it. Ten minutes later, when she finished up what she needed to do, and passed by the cafeteria again, seeing that he hadn't changed positions _at_ _all_ in the intervening time was enough to qualify as bizarre, and her curiosity ended up getting the better of her.

“...Um,” she tapped Karna on the shoulder, and he angled his body to look at her, “You okay? You haven't moved in ten minutes.”

He lifted his hand up and pointed towards the kitchen, “On top of the fridge.”

She stepped to the other side of him to see just what he was pointing at, and curiosity turned to incredulity as she saw Arjuna Alter on top of said fridge, asleep, tail hanging in front of the doors.

“...Huh.”

“Ganesha asked me to get her a bottle of soda, but I was hit in the face with his tail when I attempted to open the fridge doors. I have been trying to figure out how to approach this for quite some time, but...” he narrowed his eyes, “At the very least, I know he didn't react that way just because it was me. Sanzang approached earlier to get a snack and was also hit in the face with his tail. It distressed her greatly.”

Ritsuka glanced at the Berserker.

_'Not a cat, huh?'_

She breathed in deeply, and clapped her hands together.

“Alright. Can you lift me up over the counter? It'll be faster than going all the way around.”

Karna nodded, and followed at her heel as she approached the long serving counter, boosting her up and over it. Arjuna Alter stirred slightly as she landed on the other side with a loud grunt, and his tail swished back and forth as he slowly began to wake up. With her hands on her hips, Ritsuka stared up at him as he blinked the sleep out of his eyes.

“Arjuna. Why are you up there?”

He stretched out his arms, “...I felt the need to be up on a high place.”

Ritsuka nodded seriously.

“I see. But you're blocking people from getting food,” her hands came off her hips, and she reached her arms out towards him, “So, come on. Let's go back to my room. I'd rather not have to get a stool to get you down.”

He blinked at her languidly, before finally, fully uncurling from the ball he tucked himself into, and lazily floating down to her, arms and legs wrapping around her back and shoulders. Clinging to her tightly, he fell back asleep nearly instantly. With a triumphant look, she turned to Karna as she patted Arjuna Alter on the back.

“There you go,” she started, “If you need anything else, well, I won't be able to do anything, because he'll be asleep on me for a while.”

“I understand. Thank you, Master. I would not have gotten anywhere without your help.”

He watched as Arjuna Alter's tail swayed gently in his sleep, and he buried his face in Ritsuka's neck as she walked out of the kitchen and out of his sight.

***

Ritsuka's eyes slowly cracked open at the sound of a light, constant tapping outside of her door.

She raised out of bed, and rubbed her eyes sleepily, before looking towards the glow of her alarm clock. It was two in the morning...

A big, big yawn came out of her as she clumsily made her way out of bed, and she tossed on a robe as she stepped towards the door. She slapped the button to open it, and Arjuna Alter stood on the other side, a displeased look on his face. Ritsuka felt herself wake up significantly more, and her eyes widened.

“You are supposed to leave your door unlocked.”

Ritsuka rubbed at her forehead, _“Augh_...I _know,_ I'm sorry. It just slipped my mind...”

She shut the door and locked it as he floated over to her bed, settling right in the middle, and Ritsuka let loose an annoyed groan when she approached the bed and saw him taking up as much space as he was, like he always did on the few nights when she forgot to keep her door unlocked.

“Come onnnnnn, why do you always do this?” she tried shoving him over, “Arjuna, I'm sorry I locked my door, now let me in my bed.”

Ritsuka sighed in relief when he finally, silently moved over to give her enough room, and she crawled into her bed, squeezing in beside him. There was a moment of tension as he stayed completely still, but it was thankfully brief, and he turned over to curl up against her, his head resting against her chest, arms wrapping around her back. Though still very groggy, Ritsuka brought up her hand and began to stroke his hair, and she could feel his tail wind itself around one of her legs.

“Please remember to keep your door unlocked in the future,” he said softly, and Ritsuka gave his head a small pat.

“I will, I will,” his tail twitched around her leg as she rubbed her thumb along the front of one of his horns, “But I don't understand why you always have to come in here at one or two in the morning.”

“It's a feeling that I do not entirely understand myself,” he stated plainly, “When I wake in my own room this late at night, I get the urge to come to where you are rather than just staying put. Thank you for accommodating me, Ritsuka.”

“Arjuna,” she muttered sleepily, “We're sleeping together. In both definitions of the phrase. You don't have to thank me for this,” her fingers lightly scratch near the base of his neck, “Really, I don't know why you don't just share my room with me permanently. Wouldn't that be more convenient for the both of us?”

“...Hm...it might be,” he said, “But I find that I also get restless if I stay in this room too long. I believe that if I shared your room with you, I would wish to leave at around the same time I typically leave my own room. And usually I wake you less joining you in your bed than I do leaving it,” he pressed his face firmer against her chest, “This just seems to be how I operate, Master. All I know is that I become agitated when you lock your door to keep me out, intentionally or not, but once I'm inside, I am only able to stay for so long before the desire to leave takes over again.”

Ritsuka couldn't help herself, and chuckled lightly.

“Can't decide if you want to be in or out?”

“...Master, if you're referencing something, I'm not familiar with it.”

“Ah, don't worry about it,” his tail squeezed her leg as she kissed the top of his head, “Goodnight, Arjuna.”

“Goodnight, Master.”

***

“I was...in the middle of doing something, you know.”

With Arjuna Alter's head resting peacefully in her lap, Ritsuka made the move to pull her hand back and out of his hair in an attempt to reach for one of the information reports Sion wrote on one of the Lostbelts, but before she was able to get too far, he grabbed for her hand and placed it back on his head.

“I'm sorry,” he said, sincerely, “This is a more urgent matter.”

She paused in running her fingers through his hair.

“Me petting you is a more urgent matter than me reading information about the dangerous places I have to go to save Proper Human History?”

“It is, yes.”

“Talk about regaining your humanity!” she said in a chiding tone, “You just want me to spoil you like the Prince you are.”

“That is not my intention, Master,” he turned over onto his back, and glanced up at her, “But if that's the end result, it would be dishonest of me to say that I wouldn't enjoy it.”

He sat up fully, kneeling on the bed, and he looked down at her hands before staring into her eyes expectantly. Ritsuka shook her head, and held up her finger as the universal signal for “one second”, moving the papers off of her bed and onto her nightstand. The second she sat back down on her bed, he crawled up to her until he was laying fully on her chest, and Ritsuka let out a wheeze as he pressed most of his weight onto her.

“I think you forget sometimes that you're 25 kilos heavier than me,” she wiggled a little underneath him, “A-Also, your belt buckle is digging into one of my organs.”

“Oh. I apologize,” the buckle faded into glimmers of mana, and Arjuna Alter lifted his head up to look at her, “Is that more comfortable?”

“It is, yeah. I'm thankful you're not wearing your cape...” she brought her hands up to ruffle his hair, and his eyes shut tightly as his tail flicked back and forth happily, “But here. You now have my _full_ attention.”

His hair was even fluffier than normal when she finally stopped, but she didn't take her hands off of his head, and instead smoothed it back down before gently rubbing a spot at the base of his horns. He sighed contentedly and rested his chin on her chest, looking up at her with his calm, dark eyes.

“For how you insisted that you're not a cat, you're acting an awful lot like a cat.”

Arjuna Alter slowly blinked at her.

“If wanting to be intimate with the Master I hold feelings of adoration for is cat-like, then you may be right.”

He caught her hands before they could snap up to cover her embarrassed face, so in lieu of being able to hide herself, Ritsuka turned to the side while making a small noise of distress. His lips touched her cheek before he nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck, placing her hands back on top of his head, where they belonged, and Ritsuka's embarrassment faded, replaced with light amusement.

“I really do spoil you too much, you know,” her nails scratched at his scalp, and she could feel his tail curl around her leg, “But I guess it can't be helped.”

Ritsuka could feel him hum against her neck.

“I must point out that it doesn't seem like you have any plans to stop.”

“...Shush,” she said, and tapped him lightly on the head, “You're right. But shush.”

**Author's Note:**

> i frankly only wrote this for the first bit and thank god ritsuka is one step up from a self insert because i can just have her do whatever the hell i want.
> 
> anyway i would've loved to include a scene where ritsuka chases him around and tries to get the piece of plastic he's chewing on out of his mouth but unfortunately i thought that might be a bit too out of character for arjunya. tragic, really.


End file.
